I Am Broke

I am Broke….
I hate those words. I have had to say them more than once, like we all do. However, I am a competitive person and I want to WOD hard and compete with my friends Jeff, Jose, Jason, Mark (all of them), Eddie, Eddie, Brandon and everyone in the room. I want to lift heavy stuff, walk away, and act tough. Unfortunately, I have a back issue that is going to require another friggin surgery.
So, I am broke.
I realize it’s not the end of the world. I have Soldiers who have returned from combat broken mentally and physically. There are so many people in worse situations than me. Heather Avery has been an inspiration with her knee saga and she is pushing through. I scale WODs for our athletes when I coach and I tell them “it’s ok to work around the issue. “ Nevertheless, it is me now, it’s personal, my body is letting me down again. I guess I am not invincible, actually never was.
It gets you down. I feel like the kid who isn’t being picked for dodgeball game when I watch people doing movements at the fabled ‘RX’ weight or movement. I even questioned whether I should coach because I could not be the example. Donna and Josh helped me get over that. Donna with her comment, “you love coaching and you are going to be miserable not going to the box.” Josh with his unwavering support, with the condition that I tell people about the journey.
My primary care doc, neurosurgeon, and PT have all told me no more CrossFit. My neuro even told me after the procedure I should never squat above 200lbs again. So yeah, I disagree. What is CrossFit really? Constantly varied functional movements performed at high intensity. What if I just control the movements? I can still follow the program, get results, and just manage the movements to reduce risk of further injury. At the end of the day, I realize I am not a world class kettlebeller or a games athlete. Does not mean I don’t work hard, just that I have to work smart to meet my goal of looking good naked.
So what can you expect from Coach Lucien? Well now, I am truly not going to let my ego get in the way. My workouts will still be hard but I will check with the team and make sure I am minimizing risk of injury but still getting my WOD on. For instance, I did 17.4 RX, but each deadlift was a single, I did not let myself get too tired on the wall balls that I would collapse my back. It was not fun, but it was still hard. I do not know how many WODs I am going to RX anymore. I am planning to reduce the range of motion on some movements and the weight on others, and avoid some altogether.
You have no idea how good it makes me feel to know I still have my happy place. I am broke, but I am not broken. Look forward to seeing you at the box.

people working out in a group fitness class


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